BlackPerspective.net
Discussing the Diaspora as seen through an internal Black lens
Dear White People
August 15th, 2007
By: Tressie McMillan
www.tressiemc.com
Inspired by law school discussion boards - an evil, evil place to ever have to visit.
Dear White People,
It has recently come to my attention that as an “underrepresented minority” I am the recipient of some unfair, unjust, illegal benefits in the hiring and college admissions processes.
I, for one, have always been big on fair.
In the interest of said fairness I am now offering, for sale to the highest bidder or the first taker with $20 and good credit, a “race switch”*.
Being black has been fairly fun. I’ve learned loads, like, how to stretch some pintos and rice over a week, how to clap and rock in the gospel choir (at the same time!), how to illicit guilt from liberal whites, how to have animal sex with no concern for breeding illegitimate darkie children, how to milk the welfare system, how to create culture ripe for appropriation - and, well, the list could go on and on.
However, I’m ready for a change. So should any of you who bemoan all the many benefits us blacks get thanks to affirmative action and law mandated subsidies be willing to trade the white privilege that ain’t, I’m available.
Granted, I understand whiteness in America to be under siege but I’m willing to unload you of this heavy burden. I will trade all the wonders of blackdom for your beleaguered whiteness.
I don’t even have beauty standards. I think being white would be enough.
In exchange you would be getting all that good food, spirituals, Al Sharpton and permeations indicative of the black experience. Oh! And don’t forget the affirmative action. I hear, from white folks strangely enough, that it is a sweet deal!
So, email me today. I’m sure the science exists. I’m even willing to pay for it. That’s how sorry I am for all of our undue advantages!
Hang up your golf clubs! Trade in your membership to the “club”! Bring your cornsilk hair, income disparities and entry level corporate trainee programs! Unload yourselves of your burden!
I’m nothing if not fair.
Signed,
Actioned Out
*race switch demands actual permanent darkening of the skin; ethnic nose and woolly hair at buyer’s discretion; extra for ass and mixed heritage pedigree; fractional discounts available for any NAACP dues acquired; no returns, no refunds, no recourse, no apologies.
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posted in Social Commentary, Racial Injustice | | | View blog reactions | Print This Post
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Yobachi Boswell is creator and publisher of BlackPerspecitve.net. I’m a writer, activist and political watcher based in Nashville, Tennessee. I’ve also been know to do some spoken word and MCing in my day.
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ROFLMAO!!!!
We may be able to work something out…I’ve been lookin way too white all my life anyway…in tragic betrayal of the real BLACK me….like, sweeeet!
That’s exactly how I feel. Great post.
That is too funny…LMAO. If they only knew.
Yeah AJ, they dont have a clue.